My Road to Becoming a Voice

Human Sex Trafficking. Just saying those three words kind of makes you shiver a bit, doesn't it?  I kind of remember the first time I heard those words years ago, and I thought "well, that just isn't very pleasant!" and moved on.  Except my heart held onto it... and something started to grow.  

William Wilberforce said, “You may choose to look the other way, but you can never say again that you did not know.” 

There is a lot of truth in that simple statement.  It applies to so much in our lives, even beyond sex trafficking.  But for the sake of this blog, we will apply it to this subject. That knowledge was a seed that planted some place deep in my heart, and then grew into a passion to stand up against such atrocities in this life: to become an Advocate.  There are some things that I can only hate in life, and maybe cannot actively do anything about them.  But this - Humam Sex Trafficking - this I can fight!  I am one of those women who has a hurt in her past, and I know how much that hurt has affected my life.  On a daily basis I am thankful that somehow I was spared from what victims of trafficking have to go through, but I also know how easy it is for a young person to end up trapped.  

What can we do?  We can SPEAK!  We can 

stand against the things that feed this 

horrible thing that we don't really want to talk about.   

Have you ever had a secret?  Something bad or hurtful in your life, and you just didn't think anyone would understand?  Actually you may have even felt people would judge you and think less of you?  Then have you ever had an opportunity that for some reason you just had to share that bad thing with someone -- you just couldn't keep it in any longer, and you weren't really sure why you were even sharing... but then you find that the person you are sharing with has been hurt in a similar way??  And they felt alone.  And you knew exactly how that felt, and you didn't want them to feel that any longer.  Simply by you sharing your story, you made them feel less alone.  THAT is where we can start.  We can share our stories with one another... and we can share them with our kids, friends and others placed in our lives.  We can show through sharing that they are not feeling and experiencing things that are just exclusive to them - but very often we have gone through a very similar thing when we were younger.  We can connect with them and let them know that we understand - and if we haven't gone through something, that we want to understand.  

They are not alone.  They do not have to feel rejected or worthless or misunderstood.  There is someone who will hear them and love them. 

Sadly, I kept many things secret in my life for a very long time.  I let shame and embarrassment and fear of what someone else might think control me, and that keep me in a place of hurt and worthlessness.  Then slowly, God started to put me in different situations where I needed to share my story with someone - I needed to share my hurt.  I had to let go of the worry about what someone else would think of me, and realize that helping someone else avoid hurt I had lived with was MUCH more important than what some other person might think about me.  And then it all made more sense.  We are to fight for each other... God wants us to love one another, to help one another, to be there for one another.  And that means we open up our hearts and stop worrying about what some silly or mean person might think if we show we're actually not in a perfect life.  If everyone opened up to that, imagine how much easier life would be.  But that's not what the enemy wants.  He wants us to be under his control, believing we are worthless - and therefore continue living in our hurt and despair.  

Life on this earth isn't going to get easier.  People are going to get meaner, crimes are going to get harsher and more dangerous.  Criminals are going to get smarter.  Those who want to control others will find more ways to do that - especially when they are making money from that control.  But we can't lose heart, because we are strong too - and we can fight against this.  And one place we can start is by loving each other enough to share our hurts, and let others who are hurting know they do not have to be alone.  

For me, my road to becoming a VOICE in the fight against human sex trafficking began with hurt in my own life.  For some it's the simple injustice again fellow humans that moves them to become a voice.  What will make YOU become a voice?  



**If you live in the Myrtle Beach, SC area - or will be visiting - on April 2nd, 2014 -- please join us for an Awareness Event.  Here is the information, and if you have any questions, please, please send me a message to dk@photobydk.com -- and I promise I will promptly reply.  Also, sharing this information with someone else would be such a gift - and could be the help they need. Thank you! 

www.susannorris.org

  

Emptying my mind in yoga...

Several months ago I made the decision that it was time...FINALLY time to get myself into better shape.  I was about to turn 48 {which I did in early January} and I didn't want to be scrambling when 50 was right around the corner trying to get myself into shape.  So my first step was to finally start going to the fitness center that we had joined a few months earlier {the same one I had found every excuse in the world to not go so far!}  I am an introvert...BUT I like to think I'm a recovering introvert at this point in my life.  I have certainly been pushing myself out of my comfort zone more and more over the past couple years, and this past 8 months has almost seemed like a marathon!  There are times I feel as if I'm on a 12-step plan to recover from my extreme introvertedness.  And honestly, I don't always like all that it entails.

Ok... back to the fitness center.  

In my normal need-to-be-prepared way, I did go for a visit the day before to ask lots of questions, make sure I knew exactly where everything was, pick up a class schedule and even check out the best Exit spots {just in case I couldn't handle it once I got there and needed a quick escape!}  And then it was the day - I was going go DO IT!  Finally!  I put on my cute workout clothes and headed to the fitness center. I chose a Step-Aerobics class, and it kicked my tail.  Seriously, I almost felt like I needed to crawl to my car.  It wasn't actually the step-class itself, it was the last part which I later found out was Pilates.  That particular instructor is also a Pilates Instructor (and a very good one, I might add) and those were some of the exercises she incorporates for cool-down and mat-work at the end of step class.  I could barely do any of the exercises.  Excitedly, it didn't discourage me - but rather, it challenged me!  I don't like being told I can't do something or can't accomplish something - in fact, that's probably the best thing to say to me if someone really wants to push me.  I have been going regularly since.  As it turns out, I transitioned away from the step classes and now primarily enjoy both Yoga and Pilates regularly each week.  

If you've never done either of these, both Yoga and Pilates are focused a lot on breathing; about finding your core and working on that part of yourself, which in turn strengthens your entire body.  {Already I can both feel and see the positive results.}  There are also some instructors, especially with Yoga, who encourage you to clear your mind.  And this is where I am challenged.  Today when I was in Yoga class and we were sitting in position quietly as the class started, meditating on our breathing and on our core, I found scripture flooding my mind. "This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it." Josh 1:8... "I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways." Ps 1:2.... "He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30.... "Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth." John 17:17  Rather than emptying my mind, it was full of the Word of God.  And I found myself praying.  Praying for strength in these days that are sometimes scary or trying or overwhelming... or all of those things combined.  Praying for the love and forgiveness I need in my life to accomplish the things that I am set to accomplish before me.  Praying for clear direction, wisdom, discernment on this journey my life is on.  And as I continued to stretch my body, to breath through the class, to keep my core activated and working, I found my mind was also feeling less stressed.  When we came to the part of class where we were in positions that required balance and strength, I once again found myself praying, and the scriptures continued to flood my mind, and in them there was peace.  “'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Cor 12:9.... "The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped" Ps 28:7.... "The LORD is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him" Ps 18:1.... As the end of class was approaching, and I was facing the knowledge that the real work of my day was about to begin I found my favorite scripture flooding my heart and mind: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God" Heb 12:1-2.   

Maybe this isn't the intention in Yoga for clearing the mind, but for me this works best.  Very often in this life I have been reminded that it's not about me... it is all about Him.  "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who lives, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Gal 2:20  As I walk through another day of this unbelievable journey God has planned just for me, I pray that my strength always comes from Him, and that I never empty my mind of His empowering Word. 

Celebrating 25 Years...

1st Birthday (and yes, I'm pregnant)

It's hard to imagine how 25 years could pass so quickly.  I look around and see all of the changes. I have all of the photos that show the years clicking by, but still it's hard to believe that son of mine is turning 25 today.  After all, I still remember that day as if it just happened. Let me start this story with the week before the REAL day.  

It was a cold Winter in 1989.  We seemed to constantly have snow that year.  It would clear up just in time for more snow to fall.  I had started having regular contractions during a weekend snowstorm, so off to the hospital I had gone.  I was so excited when I heard those words, "you're in labor" and was admitted to a birthing room.  I labored for a short time, and then another laboring mom was placed in the room next to mine.  Never have I heard so much screaming!  Even the nurses were concerned, because as they would come in and check on me, it appeared that my labor was fading away.  They tried everything to distract me... even having me hide in the bathroom which had more soundproofing than the room I was in... but to no avail.  All I could think was, "Oh no... please don't let it stop!"  This had felt like the longest pregnancy in history, and I was so ready to give birth to this child and finally hold him in my arms.  But that wouldn't turn out to the be the day.  By morning, I was sent home.  Labor had completely stopped.  I was sad.  The waiting resumed.

Exactly a week later I woke up feeling fine, but maybe a little strange.  I had almost resolved that I would be pregnant with this child for the rest of my life.  His due date had already passed by earlier that week, and there were no further signs that he was going to appear anytime soon.  Yet, as the morning went on, I became more and more uncomfortable.  It wasn't like before.  I really wasn't even sure that I was having contractions, and honestly wasn't sure this could be labor.  My 21-mo-old son was very concerned, as I really had never left him for any longer than an hour or two... and to be quite honest, I was a bit worried about how this would all turn out as well.  To give you a little history, my first son had to be delivered by c-section after over 12 hours of very hard labor.  Apparently they said it was Cephalopelvic disproportion.  There just wasn't the necessary room to get him through.  And that had broken my heart.  With this baby, I had gone 'round and 'round with my doctors, but I was determined to try my best at a natural birth.  It was what I had dreamed about for what felt like most of my life!  The anticipation was driving me crazy by this point.  Would I - or wouldn't I???  

To pass the time during that day 25-years-ago and not upset my first child any more than I had to, I would pick him up and carry him around the house.  Yes, I know... it was definitely NOT what the doctors would have wanted me to do.  But it was what I felt was best for him.  The way I reasoned, if I was carrying him then he felt safer... and he couldn't see my face as it contorted with the pain.  By afternoon, I was pretty sure something had to be going on, and I called the doctors office.  Was told to come right in, so I called my Mom to come stay with child #1. Off to the doctors office we went again.  This time I was not very hopeful, as I even had the car seat for my firstborn still in my car - and didn't even bring a bag just in case this was real and I was sent to the hospital.  Once at the doctors office, they checked me and sent me straight over to the hospital with the warning to not take too much time getting there.  By the time I got there and got into a room it was already close to 6 pm, and my doctor was soon to be on his way over to see how things were progressing.  But already it was looking promising for a vbac delivery.  A little after 7 when the doctor arrived and checked, he said I was a little over 6 cm, and that this would be like a first labor (since my first child was a c-section) so he was imagining that we'd be ready to deliver around midnight.  He was heading off to a meeting, and would check in afterwards.  Not long after he left the floor I insisted that the nurse come to my room... something was seriously not feeling normal.  And when she reluctantly checked, they were running to the parking lot to catch my doctor.  The baby was on the way!  No time to waste.  By 7:40, that baby was out with the first push - and quickly in my arms.  I will never, ever forget that feeling.  I thought I was Wonder Woman - I was a Superhero for sure!  I had just delivered a tiny human all by myself.  You seriously would have thought I was the first person in the world to have done this awesome thing!  The first person I called was my Mom, and the doctor had to tell me to get off the phone so they could finish delivering the placenta. 

With each of my three children, my world changed. But with my second child, there was the most worry in my mind about whether I could love enough.  This was something I had worried about throughout most of the pregnancy.  I worried that I loved my firstborn so much that there just wouldn't be enough love for the next child.  But on that day 25-years-ago I learned just how capable our hearts are of holding more love than we can ever fathom.  My heart grew a thousand times that day.  And I've never been the same.  

As for my son #2, there is nothing about him in my life that isn't #1 except his birth order.  He has brought me joy and laughter, sometimes frustration along with much silliness, many smiles and a few tears... but love beyond description.  And he can always be counted on for a hug.  I simply cannot imagine what I did in life that could ever make me deserve to be his mother... but I am forever filled with gratitude.

Now, for the photos....    

Tyler's favorite photo of himself... with Mickey Mouse!

Always silly...

Tommy & Tyler

...when Chelsea came along, she completely captured Tyler's heart...

Tyler's baptism... a day I'll never forget!

Tyler & Chelsea dancing

Such an awesome smile!!!

HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY, TYLER-bug!

I LOVE YOU!!!!

 

Can One Voice REALLY Be Loud Enough?

It takes Passion to keep going.

Am I the only one who is guilty of seeing something that needs to be changed, yet at times holding onto that warped thinking of "Well, someone else will come along {who's better qualified, more educated, smarter, etc.} and they will take care of this."   Whether it's an issue in the community, in the state, in the nation, or in the world...it's often so easy to just think that my one little voice isn't loud enough to make a difference.  But what if everyone thought that?  And those people who DO prove to be loud enough - what makes them so special and more powerful?  Granted, we are all born with different gifts and strengths...we are born with different likes and dislikes.  But at the basis of human life there are some things that are always wrong.  And those wrongs are things we should raise our voices against.  

Wilbur Wilberforce was a very loud voice against slavery.  More precisely, he could be called a solo voice in the fight during much of his life.  He was not always popular, and at times his fight against slavery took everything out of him.  It affected his health, his relationships, his mind, his strength.  What he never lacked was passion - and that was what his fight against something so wrong could never take.  Maybe that is where we often get lost with the power behind our voice: in our true PASSION.  Passion for fellow humans.  Passion for Truth.  Passion for Jesus.  The Apostle Paul was another man of passion.  His passion first started as a Pharisee against Jesus; he was passionate to uphold the Jewish law.  But when He met and fell in love with the CREATOR of the law, his passions changed.  He then wanted to change the world around him, and bring to light the Truth that would then bring real change.  He was one very loud voice for the cause of Christ.  

My life has been anything but always exemplary.  Looking back along the road of my journey there are stains of mistakes, disappointments, hurts and stumbles.  But rather than seeing each of those marks as reasons to keep quiet, I can choose to hold tightly to the lessons learned, the blessings bestowed and strengths gained - and I can find a way to use my voice to help others.  My voice CAN be loud enough if I have the passion to fuel it against the things in this world that are wrong.  I don't have to be a Wilbur Wilberforce, or an Apostle Paul to make a difference...I can simply be Donna Kay, and my voice can still matter. 

When I think about the end of my life and what words will be on my headstone, I think of words like "diligent, persistent, passionate, kind"...this is the legacy I want to leave behind for others to remember. So this must be the life I choose to live to build that legacy.  

What is your passion?  What do you use your energy to fight for in this life?  We all have choices every day as to where we will speak up, and where we will be silent.  Make those choices wisely, and let your voice make a difference in this world.