Celebrating This Day....

Today is January 16th. Once again it has rolled around and looms right in front of me.  Twelve years ago on this date my Grandmother was killed in a car accident in Concord, North Carolina.  Senseless, tragic, life-changing, devastating are just a few of the words that barely begin to describe that day.  Lenora Christopher Swink: the most wonderful Grandmother, confidante, friend, and Christian {among many other "wonderfuls" that she was to me and so many others} was taken from us by a tragedy that left a huge hole in the lives of many.  For a few years after her death, it was almost as if I had died as well on that day.  It is a day that I will never forget, but as the years have passed I have found on this day that rather than feel the anger and sadness I held onto for so long, I now feel a bittersweet celebration of my Grandmother's life.  Her birthday is in the Spring, and on that date we celebrate her date of birth.  But as the years have passed since her death, and I have grown in who I am, I find that on January 16th I now celebrate the wonderful life she lived, and the date she entered her eternal life.  This was actually what she was living for... what she was striving to attain.  And while I miss her, I wouldn't wish her back to this crazy world.


My expectations were that I would wake up this morning, and my first thoughts would undoubtedly be of the loneliness of the past twelve years without her. But God has been gracious in His mercy today.  I got up, grabbed a cup of coffee and headed out the door to Pilates class.  And on the quick drive there, I prayed for strength to get through this day...grace that is sufficient for me to go through this day and see the blessings rather than the holding onto the hurt.  And then I heard these words in a song that came on my Sirius/XM radio station:

"And it’s good
I got more than I ever thought I would
I can finally see how all the wrong turns and the heartaches
The lessons in the mistakes
Help me count these blessings like I should
And it’s so good

Every day’s a gift that I’ve been given
Every breath feels like a second chance
And everything I’ve done heaven has seen
And God just keeps on forgiving me, and I
Do my best to change what I can

And it’s good to know that I have been forgiven
Good to have her laying by my side
I’ve been given more than I deserve
For a past so full of bridges burned
I couldn’t make this better if I tried"
 

"Good" by Dave Barnes

There was no doubt in my mind that God was hugging me up in His arms and giving me exactly what I needed to get through this day.  To see the blessings my Grandmother placed in my life, that have lasted on and on even years after she was gone.  What a gift she was to my life, and to so many others.  My tears today are a celebration of her life, of the love she had for me, of the impression she left upon my heart that shaped me in many ways into the woman I am today.  

 

 
Have you ever experienced a hurt or disappointment that seemed too huge to handle?  Something you were pretty sure would take your breath away forever?  Let me assure you - God is a big god.  We were created by a Creator who loves us very much.  Nothing catches Him by surprise, and nothing that we go through in this life goes to waste.  He can turn anything around to bring Him glory.  His ways are definitely not my ways, and I have come to accept that I may never understand many of the why's and how's in this crazy life {at least not on this side of glory}... but I hold tightly to my faith that the day will come when it will all make sense. From here on, I will hold tightly to each tear that falls from missing someone who was so dear and important to my life...I will be thankful for every moment that I was so blessed to share with her.